The Scariest Roller Coaster

When I was a teenager I went to a local theme park with my family. I was really excited to be going, and I equated this outing with the beginning of summer vacation, so I decided to dress for the occasion and wear sandals for once in my life. I was going to be whimsy.

I never wear sandals, even during summer. I think I have something against getting my feet dirty. But this time it was a special occasion, so I decided to "let it all hang out" and wear sandals.

It ended up being cold and rainy there, but hey, I'm an Oregonian, we can handle a little rain and cold. Wearing sandals in this weather wasn't going to kill me. This is just the sort of thing we Oregonians do.


My family and I wandered around the park for a while, and then we found ourselves at the theme parks ONE ROLLER COASTER. And this thing shouldn't even qualify for a roller coaster it is so boring.

But this whole theme park trip was turning out to be even more boring than the roller coaster, so I convinced my little brother to go on with me.

We climbed into the log/car and the ride attendant plopped my (at that time) much smaller little brother on my lap and pushed down the bar and sent us on our way. 

We scooted down the track for a while, waiting for the ride to pick up, but it was going nowhere fast.

That's when I saw it. 

the THING

THE BUG THING. 

OMG.

It was down by my vulnerable and overly exposed foot. I felt it brush up against my big toe and I looked down and saw it. I couldn't tell what it was because it was dark and shadowy down there, but all I could see was that it was big and black and shiny and it had long legs. 

Then it scuttled into the light. IT WAS THIS HUGE, FREAKISH THING. It glistened in the sun. AND IT HAD MANDIBLES.

This bug was like something out of Metroid.

Oh how I screamed. We inched slowly down the track, me, kicking and screaming, the entire way. THERE WAS NOWHERE TO RUN. I was pinned to my seat by my little brother and the bar and that was holding us down.  And Jordan did not seem to notice or care about the horror I was experiencing.

Then the thing scurried ONTO my foot. When I close my eyes at night I can still feel it.

For a moment, it was just me and the bug. Everything else melted away.

I WATCHED, HORRIFIED, AS IT DREW ITS FANGS, AND BIT ME. 

IN SLOW MOTION. 

I don't think I've ever screamed so loud in my life. 

As I shrieked, we passed by this roller-coaster-life-guard guy standing on a platform-watchtower thing. He stared at us as we slowly inched by, disinterested. 

I somehow made it out with my life. But my foot and my leg itched and burned for weeks after that.

Portland

Be warned, this is almost like an obnoxious instagram post.

Zoi and I went to Portland last week. Other than the parking ticket it was actually a really cheap trip. We did and saw a lot, and I think it ended up being under $30. The only thing was the parking, but with a little practice I bet I could become a saavy portland-parker and not have to pay very much, if only I knew where the good parking lots were.

..

We were going to try Apizza Scholls, but it was closed. But Zoi, with her quick Google-thumbs, found another pizza place that had much higher ratings, was in the same neighborhood, and was way cheaper. 

Portland Aerial Tram: $4

Pyro Pizza: $7

Japanese Garden: $7.50

Hot Chocolate: $2.50
Zoi, I think we spent more at Olive Garden a few weeks ago than we did on this trip. Go us!!

According to Yahoo! News, Stumptown Coffee Roasters was voted to have one of best cups of hot chocolate in the nation. So of course we had to go there first. It was very yummy- and they drew a little leaf in our drinks. Shmancy!

We got rained on while we were at the Japanese Garden, but it decided to start raining right when we sat down in a covered hut/barn thing. After sitting around for a while we decided to brave the rain- and just as we stepped out the rain stopped. So that worked out.

Between the two of us, we took almost a thousand pictures. It was hard to narrow them down to just these, because there were a lot of good ones.
Also, I want more pizza.

Steam and Smoke Are Not The Same

The valley is an extremely wet place. Even in the dryest of summers the air is slightly humid. I am just used to the humidity, this is the air I was born into, I'm used to having mold grow in my sinuses and being slightly moist all the time. I am comfortable that way.

Well Idaho is much, MUCH drier. It's nice to get away from the moistness for a few days and let my sinuses clear and my skin to dry out. But MY EYES. They can't stand the dry air. When I go to Idaho my eyes are so red and dry and itchy. And of course I never have eye drops because I never need them in Eugene so I don't think to bring them with me.

One morning I was in the hotel room. By myself. My family was downstairs getting breakfast and I was relishing the time to myself. I was in pain that morning because when I had woken up, I discovered my eyelids had dried to my eyeballs.

I managed to peel them open somehow, but I was cranky about it. Then I had this wonderful idea:

I'll just turn the shower onto hot and leave the bathroom door open while I get ready. That way the whole room will be all steamed up and humid and I will be happy no matter what. 

For about two seconds I was really pleased with myself. My eyes no longer felt like raisins, and I had more energy, and I was just going to sit here and let it steam for a few more minutes and then go downstairs for breakfast....

Well that didn't last. As the steam rose to the ceiling it hit the fire alarm. The stupid fire alarm apparently thinks steam and smoke are the same thing and it immediately went off.

So now I'm running around the hotel room half dressed flailing around screaming wondering to myself what I should do.

My thoughts:
"OH NO. THEY'RE GOING TO EVACUATE THE ENTIRE HOTEL"
"WHATDOIDO WHATDOIDO WHATDOIDO"
"OH NO. I'M PROBABLY WAKING UP THE ENTIRE FLOOR"
"OHNO OHNO WHATDOIDO"
"OH NO. WHAT IF THE NEIGHBORS OR HOTEL MANAGEMENT COME KNOCKING ON MY DOOR I'M ONLY HALF DRESSED"
"OHNO OHNO OHNO"

After an agonized few of seconds of confusion it came to me! I KNOW I CAN TURN OFF THE ALARM

So then I proceed to run around the room until I could find a chair to stand on, which was inconveniently placed in the back corner of the room, piled underneath luggage and all the other furniture that we moved to make room for my little brother to sleep.

Somehow I managed to dig out the chair and turn off the fire alarm before anyone came banging on my door. It was a miracle.

And then I went downstairs and pretended it didn't happen. What my family doesn't know can't hurt them, right?

Going on a trip!

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