The Fish Dream

For 3 years, spanning from a little before I left for college (in 2008) until a little after I moved back (in 2011) I would dream about fish EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. But every night it was a different dream. Some nights it was "Rainbow Space Fish", other nights it was "Floating-In-Air-Jellyfish" or "Glowing-Cannibal-EeI/Betta-Hybrid Fish". There was the "Fish-In-A-Picture-Frame-Growing-Roots-Out-Of-It's-Body" dream. I even had the "Fish Being Eaten Alive By A Black Widow" dream. EW. I couldn't figure out WHY I WAS DREAMING ABOUT FISH. 

I tried looking up meanings on the internet, every result I got was "Pregnant women often dream about fish". WHAT. I HAVE BEEN PREGNANT FOR 3 YEARS? How did this happen? Why didn't I notice?? WHY HAVEN'T I GIVEN BIRTH YET SO I CAN STOP HAVING THESE DREAMS?? Obviously, you can't trust dream websites. Anyway, so I thought, maybe if I buy a fish, the dreams will go away. I bought one, it committed suicide. I bought another one. It died  a few weeks later of some kind of yucky fish disease. But it didn't stop the dreams.

You would think that dreaming about a magical rainbow fish would be a fun and happy experience, but this was not so. The rainbow fish was like a piranha, and would viciously attack and eat all the other fish. It made me very upset to sit around and watch this in all its gory detail, (and to my dream self this seemed like scary, JAWS-like gore), not only was it horrifying to watch, but I also felt extremely disappointed in the rainbow fish. why would such a beautiful thing be so evil? This did not a restful nights sleep make. 

Guardian Cosmos

2011

I just love her poofy dress.

The Desiderata

I made this and it got billions and billions of pins on pinterest. Maybe I should just make inspirational magnets for a living.... ಥ_ಥ

Paneling and Screentones

This was a study in paneling, screentones and digital coloring. Lineart was done back in high school and I only JUST got around finishing the text. Now that I look at it I can't stand certain things about it. Like her broken wrist ARRRGH. But I do like the coloring on it and I wish I could color like that again but I can't remember how I did it xD. It was 2007! 

ORIGINAL:

80's ringtones

I tailored myself up a few new ringtones today. If anyone else out there is a geek for 80's music then help yourself!!


Todays specials are: Tears for Fears, Hall and Oates, and The Tubes.

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/19/77535/HeadOverHeels.mp3
http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/19/77535/out%20of%20touch2.mp3
http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/19/77535/shesabeauty.mp3

To save to your desktop right click and choose "Save Link As..."
Then just email attachment to your phone! Enjoy. :)

2009

Dream 1.28.2012

From time to time I write down my dreams, usually when they are interesting or weird. Last night I had a very bizarre dream, and I actually remember what happened. It's dreams like these that I like to write down. Usually, if I go back and read them a few years later I can kind of figure out what they were about or what waking experiences triggered them.

My dream last night was very bleak. I found myself in a big city that was under a brutal, 9/11esque attack. All around me buildings and towers were burning and crumbling and to the ground. For a minute I seriously thought I was in 9/11. There was shattered glass and explosions, smoke and debris all over. I’m not sure what was going on but I thought it was the end of the world. The sky was dark and active, but I can't remember if it was a thunderstorm (with no rain) or smoke and fire from the buildings, or some kind of war up there or something.

As this was going on little children were floating up into the sky. As they were lifted up their bodies faded away, ghostlike, until they vanished completely. Then their light would speed off into the falling buildings, stopping them from falling. Every little bit of light helped. The more kids that went into a building, the less damaged it became.  Every toddler and preschooler  in the city floated to the buildings. I felt really sad watching this. The little children were protecting the buildings and the city. I remember thinking they were saving humanity. It was up to the children to save us all.

I was with Derrick who is five, and Carly, who is three, and Jordan. We were running, and trying to take Derrick and Carly out of the city before it was too late and they had to go to the buildings. I kinda didn't want the city to crumble, but I really didn't want to lose Derrick and Carly. There was one particular skyscraper that I kept seeing. It had a perpetual cloud of fire towards the top, with inky black smoke billowing up- suffocating - and shards of glass ballooning out, hanging in the air. This explosion neither expanded nor contracted, it just stayed there, frozen in time, unless a child’s light went into it and made it smaller.  The light of the children was causing the building to stand a little straighter, placing windows where they had blown out, compressing the explosion.

I remember being in a moving vehicle speeding away from the city. Jordan had Carly. I was holding Derrick tight and telling him I love him, but in the back of my mind I knew that within a few minutes he and Carly would be next. They would have to go, and it was beyond all of our control. That was just how it was. There was no stopping it. I snuggled with Derrick for a while and then passed him to Jordan and took Carly and snuggled with her. Then Jordan lost hold of Derrick and he floated up in the air and vanished towards the buildings. I was so mad at Jordan because I wanted Derrick and Carly to go TOGETHER. I still had Carly, my sweet little three year old niece with her golden ringlets and her big innocent brown eyes and I didn't want to let go of her and let her go all alone, without Derrick. I kept thinking how she would feel if I let go of her and she had to go all by herself. I can't remember what happened after that, but I think somehow Carly slipped away. It was very sad, and I just wanted to cry the whole time.

Then I shifted into another dream which involved driving really fast on a road that was getting more and more narrow until the cement barrier was scraping the both sides of my nice new car and then jerk behind honked and crashed into me. ARGHH.

What was all that? I have no idea. It could have been that I popped two advils and covered myself in icy hot before bed.  All I can say is the last time I do that. Hur hur.