The Scariest Roller Coaster

When I was a teenager I went to a local theme park with my family. I was really excited to be going, and I equated this outing with the beginning of summer vacation, so I decided to dress for the occasion and wear sandals for once in my life. I was going to be whimsy.

I never wear sandals, even during summer. I think I have something against getting my feet dirty. But this time it was a special occasion, so I decided to "let it all hang out" and wear sandals.

It ended up being cold and rainy there, but hey, I'm an Oregonian, we can handle a little rain and cold. Wearing sandals in this weather wasn't going to kill me. This is just the sort of thing we Oregonians do.


My family and I wandered around the park for a while, and then we found ourselves at the theme parks ONE ROLLER COASTER. And this thing shouldn't even qualify for a roller coaster it is so boring.

But this whole theme park trip was turning out to be even more boring than the roller coaster, so I convinced my little brother to go on with me.

We climbed into the log/car and the ride attendant plopped my (at that time) much smaller little brother on my lap and pushed down the bar and sent us on our way. 

We scooted down the track for a while, waiting for the ride to pick up, but it was going nowhere fast.

That's when I saw it. 

the THING

THE BUG THING. 

OMG.

It was down by my vulnerable and overly exposed foot. I felt it brush up against my big toe and I looked down and saw it. I couldn't tell what it was because it was dark and shadowy down there, but all I could see was that it was big and black and shiny and it had long legs. 

Then it scuttled into the light. IT WAS THIS HUGE, FREAKISH THING. It glistened in the sun. AND IT HAD MANDIBLES.

This bug was like something out of Metroid.

Oh how I screamed. We inched slowly down the track, me, kicking and screaming, the entire way. THERE WAS NOWHERE TO RUN. I was pinned to my seat by my little brother and the bar and that was holding us down.  And Jordan did not seem to notice or care about the horror I was experiencing.

Then the thing scurried ONTO my foot. When I close my eyes at night I can still feel it.

For a moment, it was just me and the bug. Everything else melted away.

I WATCHED, HORRIFIED, AS IT DREW ITS FANGS, AND BIT ME. 

IN SLOW MOTION. 

I don't think I've ever screamed so loud in my life. 

As I shrieked, we passed by this roller-coaster-life-guard guy standing on a platform-watchtower thing. He stared at us as we slowly inched by, disinterested. 

I somehow made it out with my life. But my foot and my leg itched and burned for weeks after that.